This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
