What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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