How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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