Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
