Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
