Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize