come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
