Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
