I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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