when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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