I wish I only lived at night.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
