Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
