are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
