So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
