I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
