Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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