Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My liver just had a heart attack.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize