You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
