ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
