My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I FOUND THE LEGS
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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