there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
