i permit you to call me
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
lets start a swedish sibling band together
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I FOUND THE LEGS
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
