well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize