she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize