New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
