Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
