just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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