i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
