Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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