Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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