This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
