he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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