i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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