I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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