Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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