I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize