My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
