South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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