I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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