She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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