Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
