I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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