Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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