Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He felt like a one man threesome
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
