im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
