he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
