How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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