Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
