im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
