I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize