OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
