he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
