my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
