Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
