How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
