Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
